1. The Smoked Out Hippi
After all these years, he never thought legalization of marijuana existed..until he woke up in 2013- realizing it wasn’t 1975 anymore- He was lucky it was only a dime.
2. The Jolly Guy
“Come On, really going to pull me over at Dunkin Donuts?” This guy is thinking cause he shares similar eating interest with his local PD and a jolly old smile will get him a long way out of trouble- you would think he was posing for picture day.
3. Old “Trippin” Van Winkle
After being asked if he did threaten the barber for a free haircut; Old “Trippin” Van Winkle can’t seem to remember if he did commit these actions, before he could recall he had to feel his face to make sure he was well alive and this was happening. Happens to the best of us. The beard fits the holiday season though!
4. The “Swinger”
A nice wink and a smile covers it all. “No officer, I haven’t been making calls to undercover’s who are portraying themselves as hookers, I swear- they wouldn’t have complimented my hat like that!” This man refuses to go to jail with blue balls.
5. The Rebel
“Well f***’em and they horse they rode in on! I am Roberto the GRRRREAAATTT- They need a whole army to disarm me!” With a pot belly like that and all that armor, The Rebel would be found 10 feet away huffing and puffing with the cops cuffing as the horse fell fatal for the carrots. We always knew that horse was a “snitch”.
6. The “Ms. Attitude”
“Officer, I swear I only had a few drinks. Not even, I swear this is how I naturally stand and walk”; Officers watch out for this missy, she looks armed and dangerous with that suitcase, might have to wear a football helmet if your going to take this troublemaker down. The only rainbow she is going to see in the county jail are the ones on her pants.
7. “Mittens” the Thief (aka Bad Pussy)
This little kitty looks like he saw a ghost; caught in the act this bad pussy cat wishes he went “ghost” before the Cops showed up looking for a missing soccer ball. The excuse “Meow, meow, meow- I thought it was a ball of yarn- meow, meow” with a “prrrr” to express the attitude.
8. The Mr. It’s Okay
A thumbs up and an awkward wink, this guy thinks he free to go with a thumbs up and nice crooked neck, head, smile or lopsided head in general. No one knows the charge for this guy but it probably should be for horrible fashion and pants that look like trash bags.
9. The Cry Baby
“It was my older brother, Oops I mean goo goo ga ga- I swear he did it, ah ga go?-he is the biggest meanie weenie!” The Cry Baby fails miserably pretending to only know baby language; reminds us of the episodes on Cops- “Do you speak inglish?”..”What?”
10. …And the Guy who Got Away
“2 teeth and bad dental hygiene- Cops haven’t spoke to me once”. It’s true you can’t judge a book by its cover- this man claims it’s his hygiene but little does he know he never committed any scandalous acts. Hey it happens with old age.